Forced feminization salon

Cardinal blames sex abuse on “feminized” Church

You know when you break up with someone and you have those dark moments of nostalgia and think, “Maybe he wasn’t so bad?” And then you hear about some ridiculous, just so goddamn typical thing he’s done and you remember, “Oh, riiiiiiight. This is why I broke up with you.” I imagine this is roughly what Pope Francis is feeling this week, after Cardinal Raymond Leo Burke’s recent comments.

The Cardinal was not so long ago the highest-ranking American at the Vatican, a favorite of Pope Benedict and the Prefect of the Supreme Tribunal of the Apostolic Signatura. But he was not as warmly received by Benedict’s exponentially less conservative successor Francis. Burke’s stance on numerous issues – and his hard line way of expressing himself – did not win him any favor with the new regime in Rome. Last year, Burke called gay relationships “profoundly disordered and harmful” and took issue with the pope’s assertion of “Who am I to judge?” gay men and women as “false praise.” In October, he gave an interview with a Spanish magazine in which he called the Church, under its new leadership, “a ship without a rudder.” This is like calling your boss a jerk on your Facebook page, except your boss is the leader of one of the largest and most powerful religions in the world. Psst…. it’s going to get back to him. In November, Frances, exhibiting all the chill he honed as a nightclub bouncer in Buenos Aires, removed Burke from the Tribunal and gave him a kiss-off gig as chaplain of the charity group Knights of Malta. Who’s your rudder NOW, mofo? (Note: The pontiff probably didn’t use those exact words when the cardinal received his new appointment, but in my mind that’s how the scene went down.)

Now Burke, like that guy on Tinder who did not take your polite rebuff well at all, has emerged on an uproariously named venture called the New Emangelization Project. As far as I can tell from the group’s description, it aims to combine the old school repressiveness of Catholicism with the foaming dude rage of the men’s rights movement. It promises “male focused events, led by men, ” because if there’s one organization in the world that isn’t male focused enough, sure, it’s the Catholic Church.

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